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4. Okay, But Don’t “Mingle” with the Judges

Oh dear. “I’m single and ready to mingle” is an awful, tired phrase… but altering it to “I’m very single and very ready to mingle” isn’t just cliche, it reeks of desperation.  I’m not sure I’m ready for Marvin 2.0! 

Ben’s certainly every bit as embarrassing as Marvin, anyway. He introduces himself to the judges as a quadruple threat (model, actor, singer, dancer) and it’s like, please, loser, even Tyra Banks doesn’t pretend she can sing anymore. Tyra asks him to sing and he chants (what I hope is) an improvised song that consists of nothing but the lyrics “big booty.” I guess he couldn’t sing anything they’d have to pay royalties for. Because she’s a ham and easily amused, Tyra loves the tune.

How is Ben using his quadruple talents? Oh, you know, he’s a cater waiter. Not just any cater waiter, an important cater waiter because he once served Tyra Banks at an Oscar party. (Ben must not be all that attractive if Tyra didn’t immediately pull him from the crowd like she did with the ice cream man.) He’s not ashamed to say that he checked Tyra out at said party either. 

And that’s when Kelly Cutrone puts him in his place in the most delicious way. I have to admit - having hated Cutrone for the past three cycles, I found myself agreeing with everything Kelly said in the premiere. I think I’m prepared to give her another shot, actually. Let’s see how long the good-will lasts before I’m disgusted with her all over again.

While we’re on the love kick for Cutrone, let’s quote her marvelous words to Ben: “This is not appropriate. Here’s a little tip: you’re like a pipsqueak, okay? Tyra Banks does not want to sleep with you. And trying to take her down by speaking to her like that is not only delusional but it’s highly unprofessional.”

Rather than outright apologizing for his buffoonery, Ben says, “I am a man; I check women out.”

And Cutrone’s like:

"Questionable. You get your eyebrows threaded in Iowa." (!!!!) BOOM! That’s far more explosive and lethal than his corn-fed bicep. 

Finally, Ben says he’s sorry, but this won’t be the last time he puts his foot in his mouth. He can’t even try to compliment Kari’s beauty without mangling the syntax so much that it sounds like he’s actually proud of how pretty his own eyes are:

He might find his eyes pleasing, but those eyebrows should be mortifying.

Let’s all practice Kelly’s death glare because I think we’ll be using it on Ben for as long as he sticks around this season:

8 Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 21 Episode 1

I loved this moment. Kelly’s glare was hilarious.


Dance Tutorials; These are videos/articles I have found all over the internet that teach you different dance related things. Please reblog/like if it helped you and message me if any link is broken. 


Ballet basics (x)(x)(x), Improving flexibility (x)(x)(x)(x), Improving Strength (x)(x), Improving Turn Out (x),  Warm ups (x)(x), Ballet Terms (x)(x),  Common injuries and how to prevent them (x)(x)(x).

How to;

Splits (x)(x)(x), Scorpion (x)(x), Handstand (x), Arched Handstand (x), Needle (x), Aerials (x)(x), Butterfly Jump (x), Leg Holds (x), Tilts (x)(x), Firebird Leap (x), Scissor Leap (x), Coupe Turns (x), Pirouette (x)(x)(x), Fouette (x), Chaine (x), A la second (x)(x), Leg Hold Turns (x), Attitude turns (x)(x), Toe Rise (x)(x), Pas de Chat (x), Pas de Cheval (x), Leg Extensions (x), Switch Firebird Leap (x), Elbow Stand (x), Standing Back Tuck (x), Grand Jetes (x), Chest Stands (x), Illusion Turns (x).


How to break in pointe shoes (x), How to make a perfect bun (x), How to make your tutu stiff (x), Dance wear for curvy bodies (x), Cheap dancewear (x).


Anonymous asked:

I don't know if you've tried it, but I've found that Boost tastes better than Ensure... It's still a nutritional shake, so don't expect an ice-cold glass of chocolate milk, but, in my opinion, it's tastier than some of the others. ;)


Oooo thanks!  I’ll have to try it.  I can’t imagine anything can be worse than ensure.  ;-P

As someone who pretty much lives on Ensure, I don’t get the hate. Personally, I think Boost tastes like absolute shit. It seems…too oily? Or syrupy? I’m not sure which. Ensure at least seems milkier, which to me is a desired quality. Unlike your last few posts on the subject, I can at least recognise that different people have different tastes, And I don’t try to pass my opinions as universal.

Kevin McCarthy's Wife Says She Is Losing Her 'Right To Be A Christian'


The staggering stupidity of the notion of Christian “persecution” in the USA is fucking offensive.  It is not persecution for people to say your religious beliefs should not dictate other peoples’ rights, or even to say your beliefs are disgusting to them.

How stupid do you have to be to believe that not being allowed to be cruel to others without repercussions is persecution?

I will never fucking understand it.

If it upsets you that people bristle at the notion of Christianity right now, maybe, just maybe, consider why that is, hmm? 

Christians, shut up about being persecuted. You aren’t. White, cis, straight Christian people are literally THE most catered to in the world. Please, tell me more about how marginalised you are because gay people might be treated as something other than scum. When Obama was reelected, I had someone on my Facebook bitch about how Christians were being persecuted and marginalised. Because their candidate didn’t win? Because, heaven forfuckingbid, women might actually get/gain/keep reproductive rights and sovereignty over their own bodies? Because it was going to open all the doors for us heathen gays to get married? Because they were not-so-secretly a birther? Fuck knows. But you can bet it left a sour taste in my mouth, and made me side-eye Christians from that point forward. More so, I mean. Cry me a river, conservatives That was about a year before I went off on this person for their continuous sexist, homophobic, pro-life remarks. …I can’t go on Facebook anymore.

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